Asmireen
©2024 by Jonathan Scott
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Chapter 18 - My Struggle - 6
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Hatred. I must admit that it was actually quite a foreign concept to me for quite a large portion of my life. As a rule, I just didn't care about anyone enough to hate them. I guess it's different today though.
I am here in Hell today because I was placed here, thrown here actually, by Papa Voice. People often want to know what I did that was so bad, what I did that would somehow merit my eternal exile here. My response to this is simply, that I was overly ambitious. I refuse to go into more detail than this. It is none of your business anyway.
Today though, yes, I do feel hatred, absolute hatred for the One that placed me here. I hate Him today with such an intensity that my own goal, my life's work, so to speak, is to hurt Him. I plan to hurt Him in the only way that one can hurt a god.
I plan to hurt him by hurting those whom He loves.
I plan to take all those whom He loves, and put them in a place where He can never see them again. And then, once they are separated from Him, I plan to see to their eternal torture.
I can't kill Papa Voice. But, I can certainly hurt him. I can hurt him quite soundly actually.
When I say that I plan to permanently separate as many of Papa Voice's children as possible from Him, when I say that I plan to hurt and torture as many of them as is possible, I think you know what I mean. I plan to bring them here. And then, once here, being wholly separated from the Fool who dares to love them I plan to bring them pain, eternal and infinite pain. And all it will take for me to give it to each of them personally is the smallest of swallows.
Think of the pain that He will go through! It is beautiful. I will take Papa Voice's love and turn it into His own personal, eternal, infinite and portable Hell. He will be forced to eternally endure the realization that billions of His children incessantly writhe, moan, cry and scream in pain. And He will also be forced to know that I stand over them, eternally, as the cruelest of rulers. I cannot hurt Him, but I can certainly hurt those whom He loves.
And guess what? It just so happens that He loves you.
You. :)
Have you ever been walking down the street, thinking about nothing in particular, and then all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a thought jumps into your mind, a thought that you personally would never in a million years manufacture for yourself? Perhaps, the thought could be something as simple and relatively harmless as picking up a rock and throwing it through someone else's window. Perhaps, it could even be as complex and diabolical as raping a woman that you see. Perhaps it could even be much worse. But, you have had these thoughts before, haven't you? :)
Hello, my name is Asmodeus. How do you do?
Have you ever been perhaps holding a child and an evil thought came to your mind regarding them? Maybe your mind told you that you should insult them? Maybe to hit them? Maybe much worse?
Hello, my name is Asmodeus. How do you do?
Ever felt like stealing something and you are the sort of person to never steal?
Hello, my name is Asmodeus. How do you do?
Ever have the quick and fleeting wonder of what it would be like to kill another?
Hello, my name is Asmodeus. How do you do?
You know me. We've met before. We've met many many times before. And you and I both know that the gentle little misdeeds that I've mentioned above are only the beginning of the evils that we've spoken of together in the past.
Hello, my name is Asmodeus. How do you do?
You're not still curious as to how I plan to bring you here, are you? You know. You always knew. All I have to do to get you here is to keep offering you alternatives until I finally find the one that I can get you to agree with.
I first stumbled on my gift of telepathy long ago.
At the beginning, I was a pretty fair and gentle overlord. I did not consume many of those that fell here. At first, I more or less just let the darks run around on their own and generate the kind of chaos that they tend to generate. Their world was hellish because that was what they made it. I, being larger and stronger than them, chose rather to stay aloof from it all. I lived separate from them.
One day though, one particular dark walked up to me and began speaking with me. It was quite odd actually. As a rule, people were always so frightened of me that they always tried to keep away. No one wanted to talk, and in fact no one even wanted to be near. No one was brave enough. They left me alone, and I was happy for it. But, then, as I said, one day, a dark walked up to me and began speaking with me.
"Hello." he said.
I simply sat there, looking down at him. I was about twelve hundred feet tall at the time. I had been traveling back and forth to Earth at that time for decades. During one of my brief moments home though, this little dark walked up to me and began speaking.
I looked down at him and was amazed.
"Hello." said the dark again.
"Hello." I replied, not knowing what else to say.
It was so strange. He seemed so calm. He seemed friendly actually. He seemed almost like a person that had humbly walked over to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor that he had never met before.
And then the dark smiled up at me. It was a beautiful, warm and friendly smile. It felt good to see.
"What can I do for you?" I asked.
"Oh nothing. I just thought I would come over and say hello." he responded.
"Oh...ok." I replied.
And then the man began a conversation with me. It was amazing. It was a friendly little conversation filled with all the sorts of worthless and enjoyable drivel that one would expect from a session of chit chat. We could not talk about sports. We could not talk about fishing or even weather. None of these things existed here. Somehow though, surprisingly, we managed to pull it off. We had a conversation. It was so surprising. It was quite enjoyable actually.
And all the while, somehow, I could feel that this man was very subtly and very carefully trying his best to understand me. And when I say 'understand me,' I don't mean "to be understanding." He was not merely trying to be a good listener. He was not trying to be compassionate with me. i mean that he was literally trying to figure me out. Every time the man did or said something that, even in the most remote of ways, caused me discomfort, the man saw my discomfort, and altered his personality accordingly. And then, every time, he did something that made me enjoy the conversation more, he seemed to notice it and somehow catalog it away in his brain somewhere. I could see him do it. He was talented and he was getting to know me.
Unfortunately for the man, I had been back to Earth and had had friends there. I had played there. I had not been alone there. I was comfortable. I was no longer lonely.
Also unfortunately for the man, I knew what he was up to. He was a manipulator who was just at the beginnings of manipulation. He was a charmer. You know the sort, you meet them, become their friends, and before you realize it they've managed to talk you into doing their laundry and walking their dog more often than they do it themselves.
Also unfortunately for the man, he was very good at what he was doing, which meant that consuming him would bring to me a great gift. I simply could not resist myself.
I ate him. You can imagine his surprise. People really should just learn to leave me alone.
Anyway, my world opened up again. It opened up in a different way than before though. It opened up in a way that I did not prefer. It was almost as if I could see people as they really were for the first time. I could look at them and hear what they were thinking.
The thoughts of the darks were so vile, that they themselves seemed to become even darker. I held my hands to my ears trying to escape the assault of it, but, to no avail.
The worst of it though was the Damned. They were already too noisy. They were already far too ugly and wretched to look at comfortably. Now though, I not only could watch and listen to their discomfort, but I could feel it as well.
It was more than I could bear.
I immediately took to the skies and flew away. My world had become so noisy. I simply could not tolerate it.
I remained far from everyone for weeks before I finally made my first efforts to return.
I started slowly.
I approached the Entry and there I saw several souls that were standing together speaking. I looked at them carefully and heard them look back at me.
"wOh no, the worthless pig is back." thought one.
"No. Not him." thought another one sadly.
And then they all did nothing but stare at me and wonder what I would do next.
I began to walk closer and the souls all began to look nervous.
As I approached them, I saw other souls come into view.
"We're all going to die." thought one.
"Why can't this guy just leave us alone?" thought another.
Then, I saw something that made me angry.
I saw three men who were huge. They were at least twice the height of anyone around them. They had tremendous horns atop their heads. And there were wings growing from their backs.
I looked at them. In my absence, some had consumed. I was no longer the only devil in this place. I had competition. This would not do. This would not do at all.
I looked at them again and began to scream.
"Oh." one of them thought to himself and they all began to flee.
They were each perhaps twelve feet tall at the time. I was over twelve hundred. I launched my great titanic body through the air towards the tiny usurpers and swallowed them without ever even touching them with my own hands. I must have looked like a bat swallowing mosquitos, diving and snapping as I flew.
I then stood and watched the hundreds of thousands of souls around me scamper away like cockroaches.
This telepathic ability that I have now, it's more than just telepathy. I can actually broadcast my thoughts into the minds of others. I can speak to people.
At first it was fun. I enjoyed going back to Earth, wandering around invisibly, playing the part of the ghost.
I met up with a young man who was walking down a road late one night. It was a beautiful cold, crisp autumn evening. There was a big full moon out and the man seemed so cheerful.
"Boo." I thought to him. I started out simply.
At first, he just stood there and looked around, and seeing nothing, he continued to walk.
"Boo." I thought again.
And with that, the youth stopped and once again looked around. This time though, knowing that he was not alone, he became cautious.
And then when things were completely still, and I knew I had the man's complete attention, I did it again.
"Boo." I projected into his mind.
"This isn't funny, Parma." he yelled aloud.
"Come on, Parma. Where are you?" he yelled again.
I assumed that this 'Parma' was a friend of the man's.
I waited for several seconds. And all the while, the young man stood still. He had now picked up a rock that he had found and was holding it in a very defensive pose. It was quite humorous to see actually.
"Boo." I thought to him again.
"Boo yourself Parma." said the young man.
I followed the man around for several minutes tormenting him as I went. It was the most fun I had had in a very long time.
"PARMA. IF THAT'S YOU I'M GOING TO KICK YOU FROM HERE TO THE OCEAN." he screamed in total fear.
Then, just for the fun of it, I silently crept behind him and changed my body into that of a huge twenty foot tall troll, became visible and then bellowed the following words into his ear.
"I'M" I said.
"NOT" I said.
"PARMA." I said.
He turned, saw me, and then he just jumped and ran. Several yards down the road, he tripped on something in the dark and knocked himself unconscious on a rock that was laying by the side of the road. I left the man alone.
I wonder how he would have reacted had I showed my true self to him?
It wasn't long before I realized how I could use my new gift to bring people here.
I remember one evening, I was walking through a village. As I walked, I heard one family that was having an argument in their home.
So, once again, I became invisible and blinked in. And there, in one of the rooms of the home, I saw a father and a mother screaming at one another about something. It was such a simple and stupid argument. Both knew that it was. But, nonetheless, their argument flourished. Neither seemed capable of relenting. And so I watched carefully, hoping to find a good place to begin my contributions.
"I'M TIRED." said the woman angrily.
"SO AM I." said the man.
"I WORK ALL DAY TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN AND COOKING AND CLEANING, WHILE YOU GO TO YOUR STORE AND STAND BEHIND YOUR COUNTER TALKING TO CUSTOMERS ALL DAY LONG. I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO ADULTS ALL DAY LONG." screamed the woman.
"IT'S WORK YOU IDIOT. YEAH, IT'S EASY SOMETIMES, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN LEAVE." screamed the husband.
"I GET UP AT SUNRISE EVERYDAY. I EAT AS FAST AS I CAN AND I GO. I NEVER GET TO SEE THE KIDS. I NEVER GET TO JUST SIT AROUND AND RELAX. I NEVER GET TO EVEN FIX THIS PLACE UP. I'M AT WORK ALL DAY LONG. I MOVE BOXES. I DEAL WITH STUPID PEOPLE ALMOST EVERY MINUTE I'M THERE. YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY WORK. YOU CAN REST ANYTIME YOU WANT. YOU CAN BE HERE WITH YOUR BED, THE KIDS AND YOUR FRIENDS. WHAT ABOUT ME?" screamed the husband again.
"I WORK! I WORK HARD EVERYDAY. MY FRIENDS? THEY WORK TOO. THE KIDS?!? I CAN'T STOP WORKING FOR THEM. WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GET UP AND TO GO DO IT FOR THEM. THE BABY. SHE'S ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING DANGEROUS. IT'S LIKE SHE'S TRYING TO KILL HERSELF TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY. AND I HAVE TO BE THERE FOR HER EVERY SECOND OR SHE'S GOING TO HURT HERSELF, Y'KNOW?" screamed the woman.
I then looked in the next room to cee three children all sitting around the room looking down at their feet, looking as if they were all about to vomit from the apprehension.
"WELL, I CAN SEE THAT THE HARD WORK YOU SAY YOU DO CERTAINLY HASN'T HELPED YOU LOSE ANY WEIGHT." the man screamed at his slightly overweight and beautiful wife.
I just couldn't help myself. I just had to jump in. I had to see what I could do.
"HIT HER!" I thought to the man.
The man flinched. I had done it right. I had thought the words "HIT HER" so perfectly, that the man actually believed that he had been the one to think them. I could see the shame creep into his eyes. He had seriously considered injuring his wife and now there was guilt. I was doing it right. Even if this man did not obey me, I could bring him pain. I was on the right track.
"YOU WORTHLESS UGLY MIDDLE AGED GREEDY LAZY FOOL." the wife screamed.
How fortunate! The first time I told the man to strike his wife, my thought had been somewhat incongruous with the man's own mental state. His wife had been making sense. She really was tired. And the man had just insulted her, so his guilt was on the rise. The impulse that I gave him, to hit his wife, did not fit in well with that one particular moment's set of emotions.
Now though, after such an insult, the man was actually feeling like resorting to violence and it was the perfect time to strike.
And so, I did it again.
"HIT HER!" I thought to the man again.
And he did. I left once things got quiet. Although I do go back from time to time.
What a power! It works best when you can somehow meld your suggestions into the minds of the people that you haunt seamlessly. What I mean by this is that, you have to somehow make suggestions that fit. For example: I couldn't simply walk up to a gentle old woman who does nothing all day long but think about her grandchildren and suggest homicide to her, unless, of course, she was already thinking about it...and then it's fine. In the case of the old woman, I would have to start at the beginning. If she has nothing but love for her grandchildren, well, then there's several different ways one could go from there. You could suggest that her grandchildren need a lot of help because of the incompetency of their parents. If she falls for that one and acts on the impulse, then she becomes a nuisance to the family and the parents begin to avoid her. A type of contention develops that can then be used for other things. If not that, then, you could also suggest to her that perhaps the children look thin. If she falls for that one, she'll simply start feeding them until the parents see the children grow fat because of it and then there will be a new source of friction to work with.
Friction and contention are the keys. Friction and contention destroy trust and charity. And then, once trust and charity fall, many other things fall along with it.
By all means though, if one wishes to escort another to Hell, it is absolutely imperative that you not make yourself obvious. You must somehow give suggestions that seem plausible and that seem as though they come from the individual themselves. The moment you are obvious is the moment that they will suspect your tinkering. Then, once they suspect you, once your cover is blown, some subjects just drop everything and frantically run back to Papa Voice and then of course, everything becomes much harder.
Yuu can imagine how much simpler this all becomes with those who choose to not believe that I even exist.
It gets much easier. Much.
I began training souls here to take over this responsibility long ago. I now have many millions of these "Soul Stalkers" in my employ. My machine is alive and well. And it wasn't even actually that hard. I just hired a group of souls to be my managers. In turn, they assembled and trained the work force. I'm now free to come and go as I please.
I am quite proud of myself. I've managed to turn my own prison into a tool. I've managed to turn my own exile into a Hell for Papa Voice. I've learned to entertain myself out of my own misery.
I am quite proud of myself.